Reasons I Am Excited to Get Short Hair Again, a Partial List


  • All the time I now spend styling my hair, I will get to spend living.
  • All the really gross frayed and damaged inches will be in the trash.
  • I will no longer go through a bottle of conditioner a week.
  • I will not find hair elastics all over every surface of my apartment when I am cleaning.
  • I will avoid the frustration of being totally unable to find a hair elastic when I really need one.
  • When there is hair in our dinner, I will have plausible deniability about it being mine.
  • The shower drain will clog so much less often.
  • I won’t get my hair caught in the car door anymore.
  • Or in the zippers of my sheath dresses.
  • Or in Collin’s glasses.
  • When I’m in savasana my head will actually rest against the ground instead of unpleasantly balancing on a tightly-wound ball of hair.
  • It will be a great excuse to buy lots of cute headbands.
  • Bed head can be mistaken for an endearing style choice.
  • Intimate bedroom activities will no longer suffer from that awkward pause while I get my hair out of the way.
  • Sexy photo shoot in drag.
  • Having something fun to bitch about when I start trying to grow it out again.

[My haircut appointment is this Sunday afternoon, approximately 21 hours into my marriage.  Long hair, it's been real, but the end for you is nigh.]


  1. Hahahaha oh yeah, this : “Intimate bedroom activities will no longer suffer from that awkward pause while I get my hair out of the way.” And you forgot hair no longer getting stuck in a necklace when you close it and you suddenly have knots and your whole head is attached to it. But wow you are brave… I couldn´t do it . Whenever I cut my hair shorter than under my ear or shoulder, it loses form and becomes a huge huge sponge. And I think long goes better with my cheeks otherwise I look too round. But maybe I´m just used to it.
    And all the best vibes in your last week of pre wedding craziness ;)

  2. My hair gets stuck in my sunglasses, which is painful and happens approximately once every fifty times I take them off. Usually in the grocery store, so I am walking along looking at my hair with giant plastic glasses held out like a goob.

    My other favorite: hair blowing into one’s lip gloss.

  3. And here I’ve been thinking, GOD DAMN SHORT HAIR I WANT TO PUT IT UP FOR ONCE.

    Also, I still end up wasting time every day on styling.


  4. I’m with Lynn — I still have to style my short hair (more so than when it’s long, ironically). And I wish I could put it up sometimes. It still gets stuck in my glasses. Maybe it’s just not short enough.

    So excited you are getting married this Saturday! Woot woot!

  5. I have a long tradition of marking significant moments in my life with “OH GOD PLEASE LET ME CHOP MY HAIR OFF AGAIN NOW THANK GOD.”

    Graduating high school, post-college missions trip, near the end of my previous job contract…I suspect I will be with you on the “okay. Married now. Chopping hair off again.” bandwagon. :D

  6. I did a mini-chop, but wanted to retain the “oh fuck I’m running late – PONYTAIL” “styling” option in the morning. Also, I look bad with short hair (I really tried with chin length, but sometimes you need to cut your losses), which makes me so sad. I desperately want a pixie cut (ish) but know damn well how bad I’d look.

    Chop for those of us who can’t.

  7. I was *this close* to getting bangs yesterday. My stylist talked me out of it and we just layered and took off a little length. My hair is much too curly and unreliable to do anything other than wear it long.

    However, your excitement list reads like my wish list. And the one about the awkward mid-sex hair-interuptus? I’m SO over that! And sex with a ponytail is so not sexy. At all.

    • Oh, I have to disagree, L. Try a bouncy high fifties-style ponytail and play a little corrupting-the-coed. Good times! Not that I would know, of course.

  8. My hair is curly and unreliable and thus cannot be cut short, but one day I aspire to make a list this kick-ass and funny. It just won’t be about short hair.


    Hooray for getting married!! And cutting your hair!!

  9. Yes, long hair and sex can be quite mood breaking.

  10. I can’t wait to see you doing drag. That would rev my engine. Also, my name is LaToya.

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