The “must play” and “do not play” lists are due to the DJ tomorrow. I’m slightly panicked about them.
I care a lot about the music at our wedding, but I don’t really know how to articulate what I want other than “people dancing and me not being embarrassed.” There is no blank for that on the worksheet I am supposed to turn in to our DJ.
This puts so much weight on the Must and Mustn’t lists. But do the poles of my musical taste1 meaningfully articulate the creamy center that represents an ideal reception playlist? If I write in “For every Katy Perry song you play you lose 10% of your tip” will he avoid other female pop singers, thereby skipping over 80% of my favorite music? Am I effectively counterbalancing that by putting Ke$ha on the must play list?
I listen to this song more often than I brush my teeth.
Another issue is that the Do Not Play list makes me feel mean. I want to put “Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey on there, because it is neither 1981 nor 2009, and moreover, I hate that song. But do people ever love them some “Don’t Stop Believing.” Who am I to deny them?? And there are certain genres I kind of want to X out entirely, like country or disco or anything that involves line dancing that is not the “Cupid Shuffle”, but I am haunted by an anecdote from a friend wherein she requested “Push It” by Salt N Pepa at a wedding and was told by the DJ, “I’m sorry, I’m not allowed to play anything ‘urban.’” A) Racist B) Lame C) I don’t want to be that asshole.
But the “Must Play” list also makes me feel uncomfortably controlling. Because really, MUST I hear “I’m In Love With a Girl” by Big Star? No. I mustn’t. I just want to. There really isn’t anything I MUST hear at my wedding other than the songs we picked for the ceremony and our first dance. Maybe I should just scratch it out and write in “Suggested songs” or even simply “Songs I like.”
Someone who is not me should use this song for their first dance.
But that brings me back around to the trouble of my tastes not being universal. Guys, this is why I can’t have an iPod wedding, or even really DJ my own “beer was on sale, come over” party. There are songs that I think are fucking amazing and should bring down the house that the actual inhabitants of the house don’t know or don’t like and can’t get into. My friend Abby describes this as “Brazilian music” even though I often point out to her there are really only a couple of Brazilian artists in my collection. But yeah, Os Mutantes are exactly the kind of music I expect everyone to want to boogie to as much as I do (ugh, I swear I’m not a music snob.)
I probably should have done that thing where I ask for song requests on the RSVP cards, but I can’t turn back time. And no one is really visiting our wedding website, so I can’t use that either. But hey, you can all take this opportunity to suggest songs you love hearing at weddings and hate hearing at weddings. Some of you will even be at my wedding! So let’s just pretend I did this right the first time around.
1What about Collin’s musical tastes, you might ask? Well, I’ll tell you: if there is anyone in the world worse at articulating their taste in music than me, it is Collin. All I really know about his taste in music is that he likes hip hop songs about being happy with your life. Pandora gets Collin’s taste in music, but I do not. Maybe we should just give the DJ our Pandora logins.