I know my friends who are married, both in the real world and in the blog world, have almost universally felt sadness over particular guests being unable to attend their weddings. And if there is anything I’ve learned in the past year of wedding planning and wedding blogging, it is that weddings crank emotions up to eleven.
But I was unprepared for waking up to Collin saying “So-and-so’s RSVP came in the mail; it’s a no” and spending the rest of the day feeling like there was a vice squeezing my heart.
I know that attending weddings can be very expensive, and travel is difficult. I know that sometimes the timing of life (pregnancies, new jobs, illnesses, family obligations) can’t always work out neatly. I can’t expect everyone to be able to come.
But it is still hard. I feel like I have to take an eraser to my imagination of my wedding day and rub out some of the faces. Which for me triggers an even deeper layer of sadness to boil to the surface, because when I start to think about all the people I always imagined being at my wedding who won’t be there, I can’t help but think of my parents.
I know I will still be surrounded by the people I love on my wedding day. Just not all of them.