I Warned You This Might Happen


Becca’s post today touched on schmoopiness, and as I commented there, Collin and I are no strangers to schmoop.  Collin, as you might have guessed if you’ve ever read one of his comments (or one of his mom’s), is an emotionally-open, outwardly-affectionate sort of character.

He says to me sometimes, “You make me make sounds.”  What he means is, he wants to show me affection, but he can’t find real words to do it, so he throws pleasing syllables together and addresses me with them.

Without further ado, here’s a partial list of the nicknames Collin has used for me, in rough chronological order:

  1. Sweet thing
  2. Cutie
  3. Cutie Patootie
  4. Patootie
  5. Patoot
  6. Patoon
  7. Panoot
  8. Noot
  9. Noon
  10. Noon-burg
  11. Quun [var: Cun, Cuyn]
  12. Noop
  13. Noople
  14. Papoople
  15. Papoop
  16. Noop Scoop
  17. Noof
  18. Foon
  19. Floon
  20. Fa-goon
  21. Floop
  22. Norf
  23. Norfle
  24. Plamp
  25. Clamp
  26. Clample
  27. Plaplimp
  28. Plaplample
  29. Plaplornsk
  30. Clink
  31. Cla-clink
  32. Claklorsle
  33. Flornsk
  34. Flinsk
  35. Plinsk
  36. Frump
  37. [Redacted]
  38. Dig
  39. Sink
  40. Simp
  41. Sint
  42. Quint

Try saying them out loud! It is fun.  So how about y’all? Ever use pet names? Stick to one or cycle through many?  Or do you all want to punch me and/or Collin in the eye socket for being so schmoopy?


  1. This is an intimidating list. I’m afraid we’re stuck on sweetie, baby (bleh. i still want to puke sometimes when i think about it), and honey. Each is used for a specific purpose. Honey is used when we want the other person to do something. “Honey, can you grab this while I clean the poop off the cat’s arse?” Sweetie is when we want to be affectionate or want something. “Sweetie… the remote is so far and I can’t reach it and I’m so comfy… will you hand it to me, please?” And baby, well baby’s reserved for the romantic moments, yadig?

  2. wowza list!
    We stick to the main baby, honey, sweetie, darlin, etc. but dress it up when we’re feeling schmoopy by just making it ridiculous. aka sweetie might become ‘sweetie weetie mcpeetie!” (the longer the ridiculous names become the higher the points!)

  3. Love this list, isn’t it funny how nicknames evolve? Some people call Craig “lunchbox,” which started out as something else entirely, and we were trying to explain it to his parents this weekend. They didn’t seem to follow the evolution.

    We call each other “kiddo.” Our nicknames for our dog are endless.

  4. We’ve got honey and babe. And then I call him Beagle, Beagle pup, pup, cute boy, fiance, boyfriend, and then a whole list of adjectives or other nouns to which I add -est at the end. “You are the cutest Beaglest pup in the world.” I know, it’s nauseating.

  5. I have called my Collin everything possible, and cycle through them like crazy. I called him Mr. Baby for a while because he’s a man who is my baby, and then M.B. as a way for that to be less embarrassing in public. Love, Love Of, Lu, Pupu, Cah, Lala, Mssr. Bebe, etc. I don’t feel terribly awkward about it since I come from a long line of nickname givers – I got my childhood nickname when my mom exhorted my dad not to call me “Cootie”.

  6. Butter. I call my beloved “butter.” I’ve also called him “cake.” If I’m feeling particularly exuberant, and word referring to a sweet and/or rich treat will do, even the nonsense ones. Butternut squash, creamsicle, pecan pie, pancake sauce (which I’m assuming is maple syrup, but like fancier?).

    It’s only a matter of time until Collin calls you galoon, which is the word I use in place of lagoon ever since I caught part of that episode of Viva La Bam where Don Vito is stuck paddling around this body of water desperately shrieking nonsense about the galoon, the galoon!

  7. Whoa. I need to learn to edit my comments before posting. I should have used “any word” up there in the second sentence instead of “and word.” Sorries.

  8. um, sometimes i think my fiance forgets i have an actual NAME and that it’s not one of his 100′s of pet names for me.

  9. I am so ridiculously curious about the one redacted name. We stick to honey, sweetheart, love, babe, baby, and I call Tony “T” sometimes. He calls me “Bug” just because we say that so much to our little guy. The other things are … um … not for other people to hear.

  10. Oh goodness, the noise-words. We have them. Perhaps not as many as you do, but they’re some of our favorites. In fact, we have a whole secret vocabulary that probably only makes sense to us. Anyone bugging our house (thy they’d bother, I don’t know. but run with it here) would think we were speaking in code or had the mental equivalency of third graders.

  11. Isaiah has always called me “miss,” in a way more affectionate way than I’m going to be able to show you through typed words. He also calls me “Detective Lizzie” because I can never be surprised…I always guess. Anyways – I am a little more mushy with the nicknames than him…”Munchkin,” “Izzy,” “Lovey,” “Booger” – wait…what? Yeah, woops.

    We both call each other Lovey almost everyday…but I mainly love hearing him say my name…and vice versa. So warming, you know? Your nicknames are so cute!

  12. Jessica and I call each other a number of things, but one standby we use a lot is “baby lover,” which has been known to cause a little confusion outside of her and I. For you see, we are not calling each other “lovers of babies” (ie, people who love babies), even though yes, we both do like babies. It’s really just a combo of two affectionate terms, baby and lover, strung together. We’ll do “lover baby,” too, or just “baby” or “love” or the straightforward “love.” But we’ll never approach your list, which is equal parts daunting and schmoopy.

  13. ha ha oh man thats quite a list! I call Ryan bear claw sometimes (like the pastry). nothing else too crazy though other than ‘Lis’ or ‘Ry’

  14. I can honestly say I’ve used almost all of those words while making up swear words to yell at video games.

  15. Ok, I’m totally stealing “papoople”!
    My name for the boy is “cookie” or “cookie bear”.
    I was on a “snuggly wumpas” phase for a while and I have no idea where I got that from.

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