This week’s inbox poison from The Knot is the “Top 10 Wedding Planning Myths,” the first of which is “hiring friends is the same as hiring wedding vendors.” In the busting of this myth, The Knot warn that no matter how brilliant and talented your friends may seem, they are inexperienced with the delicate field of weddings and therefore will be one of your lifelong wedding regrets.
Does “shut up” go without saying?
Although honestly, and I can’t believe I’m about to say this, The Knot is right. Hiring friends is not the same as hiring wedding vendors. Allow me to mythbust:
1. Friends are generally more affordable than wedding vendors. Sometimes even free!
2. Friends are more pleasant to be around than wedding vendors. Personally, I prefer having a close friend hang out with me for hours on my wedding day, using his familiar photography catch phrases of “this is nothing!” (for test shots) and “Laa!” (to force natural smiles) than some stranger who might, for example, always try to shoot me from my right so you can’t see the scar on my eyebrow. Because Stranger doesn’t know I like the scar on my eyebrow, and frankly I don’t want to have to put a scar-representation clause in my contract.
3. Friends care more about you than do wedding vendors. Wedding vendors want to avoid breach of contract and want to secure a nice tip and good word of mouth. Your friends want to be a part of what makes your wedding wonderful. That sounds more valuable to me.
So we’re trying to use friendors as much as we can (almost definitely for photography, probably for ceremony music, but we have a lot of negotiating ahead). I’m really not concerned about “not getting the same results.” What does give me pause about hiring friends is I want them to enjoy our wedding instead of feeling on the clock. If I wrote for the Knot, and I needed to soullessly terrify brides into hiring wedding professionals, I would definitely emphasize that concern. [Dear The Knot, please see "contact" on the right margin to inquire about my freelancing rates when the time comes for next quarter's wedding myth column. Kisses!]
How about you? Are you using any friendors? Have you any doubts?
P.S. I really enjoyed this post a few weeks back on A Cupcake Wedding, poking fun at how friendors are not necessarily available to all, nevertheless emphasizing that if you are so blessed as to have friends with wedding-adaptable talents, take advantage of it!