And now, for something completely different.
Nikki put up a post outlining the contents of her purse. Like Nikki, I “love a good ‘what’s in your bag’” post. It’s one of my favorite features in lady magazines, even though I roll my eyes at how the starlet invariably has whatever mascara she’s in the ads for on hand. It’s my understanding this is a common feature on so-called “lifestyle blogs,” where the writer will be like, “Check out how many handcrafted Etsy items I need to have on hand at all times!”
[Nikki's was not like that at all, it was very down to earth. Also, I might be completely wrong about what lifestyle blogs are actually like, because I don't really understand them other than "that thing that wedding blogs sometimes become after the wedding." At the APW meetup this weekend I said I don't have a "lifestyle blog" because I don't have a "lifestyle," and KWu was all, "I don't know... you do those makeup posts..." and I was like, "WHAT AM I BECOMING?" and then I smashed up the bathroom mirror. (Disclaimer: At some point that story stopped being true. See if you can guess where!)]
So I’m going to show you what is in my bag, but I mean, for serious now. I grabbed my purse, dumped it out, slightly rearranged the contents to fit in frame/not reveal any part of my credit card #, and now I will tell you about it.
[Sidenote: that purse is new as of last week. It is the biggest purse I have ever owned. I'm not really a purse person, three quarters of the year I try to get by with just my jacket pockets, and in the summer I generally use a tiny handbag. I got this bag so I could haul more stuff around New York, but have used it almost every time I've left the house since. It is entirely possible I am beginning my metamorphosis into one of those people who carries a Mary Poppins-style bottomless bag of tricks at all times (I'm looking at you, Labz). So this is not at all representative of what I "normally" have on me, just what I have had on me the past week or so.]
1. My “oh I just thought of something funny/brilliantly insightful that I should write about later” notebook.
2. An envelope with my name on it and a $100 bill inside of it. Why do I have that? MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, JEEZ.
3. One of those “I recognize your rewards card, here’s something you’ll probably buy” checkout coupons. FOR MONISTAT. I was mortified. Does the checkout robot have no sense of decorum?
4. A Tide pen.
5. The cap to the Tide pen, which refuses to stay on.
6. One of those packets that comes in new things and says “DO NOT EAT” all over it. I told you this purse was new.
7. Sunglasses I am fairly certain actually belong to Annie D.
8. Camera battery charger and spare battery that I left at a bar all weekend but was thankfully able to recover.
9. Crumpled receipts! One is for Meg’s book!
10. Four dollars cash. I am astonished there was no loose change in my purse.
11. Anxiety meds
12. An old bottle of anxiety meds that I filled with an assortment of OTC drugs.
13. A small hair comb, because having a pixie cut sometimes makes you like an old man.
14. d:fi light wax, which I did not review because I just picked it up on clearance at Ulta. Short review: Just ok for hair management, but great to keep in a purse, because it doesn’t move around in the jar and make a mess!
15. Cheap headphones, which means I stole my husband’s pair because I also have some plugged into my laptop right now.
16. Gum. That creepy gum that tastes exactly like store-bought apple pie. Also, used gum wrappers, because I am a slob.
17. A pen stolen from an Omni hotel. Do they still exist? How would I know in the Post-Oprah universe?
18. Olay Complete UV Moisture Cream, which I threw in there because I intended to go tanning the other day (right before I cancer-blast my body I like to SPF my face, because, you know, wrinkles scare me more than cancer, I guess)
19. Lip balm and more lip balm. I had really dry, cracked-up lips last week. It was gnarly.
20. Hydrocortisone cream, because that’s life with eczema! You’ll notice roughly a quarter of my bag contents are meant to deal with my dry skin.
22. MAC Mineralize Charged Water Moisture Gel, which is pretty much the same thing as Clinique Moisture Surge but comes in a smaller container, so I doubt I’ll buy it again. Especially because I love the Clinique bonuses.
23. Like the Clinique All About Eyes cream!
24. Megan‘s business card, which I promised to give to “someone in the Wedding industry” on Saturday. Obviously, I failed.
25. A Joby Gorillapod because we’re making a funny video for my upcoming comedy show with the (not pictured for obvious reasons, but truthfully it was in my purse) point and shoot camera I’ve had for three years, because we’re
low-budget hard core like that!
So that’s my lifestyle in a nutshell: crumpled receipts, dry skin, anxiety meds, camera crap. I hope this has been an aspirational journey for you.