Last weekend, which feels like it ended eight seconds ago even though it is already freakin’ Thursday, I visited my friend Lexi in Las Vegas along with fellow BFFs Abby and Liz. It was almost exactly six months after my honeymoon, which ended in Vegas. And I hate to say it (but obviously not that much, because I already tweeted about this), but this trip would beat up the Vegas leg of my honeymoon in a fight. [Sorry Collin. I loved our honeymoon. I'll write about that tomorrow.]
Here’s why it ruled:
- Leaving Pittsburgh in January almost always means heading toward much more favorable weather. It was actually an unusually cold weekend in Vegas, with actual ice spotted in a parking lot during the daytime, but it wasn’t a snowy chill-you-to-the-bone nightmare like Pittsburgh was. I got more sun in four days than I think I got all of last month. And we’re having an exceptionally easy Pittsburgh winter.
- Even though I was too stupid to know I wanted to go to the Hoover Dam, my friends took me to the Hoover Dam and I had a historgasm while basking in the human ingenuity and American achievement. There’s a map of the stars emblazoned on the ground by one of the monuments at the Hoover Dam so that if an alien society finds Earth after humanity has died out they will still know when it was completed.
- Being a group of young attractive women is sort of like walking around holding up a sign that says, “ATTEND TO MY NEEDS, SERVICE INDUSTRY!” Being ushered past a line to get into a dance club can now be crossed off my bucket list.
- As can dancing on a platform in said dance club.
- I finally had an excuse to wear the curve-hugging purple dress I keep wanting to wear out and deciding is too slutty.
- I also wore statement earrings! It was maybe the first time since 1999 I didn’t regret having pierced ears. I’m making tiny baby steps into this mysterious world that people call “accessorizing.”
- We met Holly Madison at the Peppermill, which was God telling Louis he should have come on this trip with us.
- I found out that Las Vegas, with its total lack of hills and humidity, is the best place in the world to run. My planned 5K turned into 5 miles that I ran in under 50 minutes, which is much, much faster than my usual pace for that distance.
- We went to the pawn shop that is on Pawn Stars. Vegas is one of the best places in the world to be a shameless tourist. I was captivated by the case of discarded engagement rings, which I called “a box of broken hearts,” but Rocco the very nice and knowledgeable salesman behind the counter insisted they are mostly “upgrades.” Then he showed us a cane with a sword in it.
- We got to meet up with another Pittsburgh friend who happened to be in town and his amazing girlfriend, who’s in publishing, so I got to hear about “the industry” while eating amazing thai food.
- Then we went to an improv show, which was very funny and entertaining in its own right, but we were really there to meet an old friend of the elder statesmen in our social circle who is brought up any time Vegas is mentioned. I thought this guy would be like, “Oh, great. Say hi to Ben and Lou for me!” But instead he was like, “OMG HI HI HI! LET’S TALK ABOUT PITTSBURGH FOR FIVE HOURS.” And we did. And it was a DELIGHT.
- I got to do all this with my best friends. And then come home to my best husband.
And man, did I miss Collin. Being away for four days and wanting to constantly call and text him made me laugh at whatever part of myself ever imagined that maybe I’d let him go to Cape Town alone. I guess the great thing about marriage is that it gives codependency a sheen of legitimacy!