New Year, New Fears


I had a great New Year’s Eve, but because everything that happens in my life a) relates back to my wedding and b) can be twisted into a source of anxiety, I now have a few new concerns about my wedding day:

1. My dress won’t fit. My body weight fluctuates.  I know this.  But now I’m extra scared because a dress I bought Tuesday was, by Friday night, so big on me that even with the help of safety pins and boob tape I couldn’t get it to look presentable.  I assume this is because when the dress fit on Tuesday I was only a couple days’ out from my brother-in-law’s constant supply of frosted beer mugs and my sister’s constant supply of new recipes designed to prove her worth as a daughter-in-law.   So the dress that was cute on Tuesday looked like a droopy tent on Friday.

On NYE, I had a backup dress.  I’m not going to have a backup wedding gown.  I have no idea how to deal with this problem.  I think hyper-consciousness of my size, weight, food and drink intake is probably the recommended course, but that sounds very emotionally unhealthy.  Which leads me to fear two:

2. Fear Itself. In case you haven’t noticed, I have anxiety problems.  Getting ready for our NYE party, realizing my dress didn’t fit, running late as I had to take time to iron my backup dress, my anxiety rocketed up.  I don’t want anxiety to get in the way of me enjoying my wedding.  I think maybe I should go back on anti-anxiety drugs near the wedding, but my  experiences with benzodiazepines make me worry (IRONY!) about having my memory impaired on my wedding day.  Plus I’d really like a few celebratory drinks on my wedding day, and booze and benzos don’t mix.  Which brings me to fear 3:

3. I will drink too much. Free party advice: if you have a collaborative effort party, and the person bringing the liquor arrives well before the person bringing the mixers, DO NOT use this as an excuse to just do shots.  Especially if I am there, because I will then hug you, cry, apologize to you for things I did five to eight years ago, hug you some more, explain how much I love you, cry, hug, hug, cry.  [If I am on anxiety medicine, this will either not be a problem, or will be a problem even though I only had champagne during the toasts.]

But don’t worry: my new year’s resolution is CHILLAX.  Because new year’s resolutions are always, no matter what, kept, I am sure that by July I will scoff at all these “concerns”  and roll with the punches like the coolest of cucumbers.


  1. I love this post — I can identify with the worries and the reassurances at the end :) I don’t have the weight fluctuation issue (at least not within short time periods) but I can certainly understand being afraid of anxieties getting in the way of enjoying your wedding. July is a long ways off, which can be a good or a bad thing, I guess… I like your new years resolution. You can do it!

  2. 1. Hyper-body-consciousness is a terrible idea, especially for one with anxiety issues, notthatIamprojecting. Is your dress adjustable at all? Maybe something with a corset back? I have zero domestic goddess skills so I don’t know if this is possible, but could a tailor build in some adjustable seams (or velcro or duct tape)? If not – can you guess at what the situation will be in the days prior (like, will you be stress eating with all the friends and family in town or will you be to busy/freaked out to eat) and aim for that?

    2. I’ve found that my anxiety issues are loads better if I a. have a plan and b. have a REALLY STUPIDLY DETAILED PLAN and c. schedule breaks to go be by myself and breathe. I’ve also heard good things about meditation but I’ve never tried it, because I am too busy being a stressball.

    3. Try consciously making an effort alternate alcoholic drinks with water. It’s stupid advice that somebody gave me in college but it totally works. You still have something to sip on but you’re way less hungover later.

    Aaaaaand now I’m going back to my new year’s resolution, namely, STOP PROCRASTINATING VIA THE INTERWEBS.

  3. About 1: find a good alterations person near your venue, and do the dress fitting right before the thing. Like, the day before. Since they don’t let you eat or sleep for about three days before your wedding (jk), I noticed ZERO body fluctuation by that point–but have someone on hand to help you out if you need it! That’s what they DO! It’ll work out fine. Don’t worry.

  4. I don’t really have any useful advice, but I do appreciate your sense of humor.

  5. i understand the anxiety issues…i always assume the worst will happen and end up making some sort of self-fulfilling prophecy of epic proportions. i hope your new year’s resolution ends up making 2011 awesome. :)

  6. Somehow I ended up doing shots on NYE too! What the heck was I thinking.

    A backup wedding gown sounds like just the thing the WIC would dream up and try to get women to buy. “Buy a backup gown in case you are too fat or too skinny to fit into the one you already have! You should never have any less than 3 wedding dresses because you never know what size you’ll be! Imagine the horror if your dream dress didn’t fit. Now you won’t have to worry!”

  7. Obviously you know your own body best, but at least on me dramatic weight fluctuations over a few days is usually just water weight. At least it might contribute, in which case you just need to keep an eye on your salt intake.
    And definitely have your alterations done as close to the day as possible. I totally lost weight the week of the wedding and the dress wouldn’t have fit properly if it had been fit before that.

    And from another anxiety case, yeah I was stressed as hell before the wedding and even throughout to a point, but it was still really great. Don’t let anxiety about your anxiety get to you.

  8. are there things you like to do that you find relaxing? you should do some of those!!! yoga, reading, etc. I feel like once you’re relaxed maybe you will stress less about food & you should be able to enjoy some drinks at your own wedding! don’t let the little things get to you. delegate and give them to other people to deal with in terms of wedding prep. maybe that will help too?

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