I’m visiting with family for my soon-to-be-cousin-in-law’s bridal shower. [Have I ever mentioned that I freakin' love my family? It is true.]
While wrapping presents, my aunt and I got to talking about how hard it can be to find a dress to wear to a wedding. The rules we follow1 are:
1. No black. (Not a funeral)
2. No white. (You are not the bride)
3. Don’t match or clash with the bridesmaids (this can be tricky for weddings of people you don’t know as well, but it helps to wear a dress that can’t be mistaken as a bridesmaid dress).
4. Nothing too revealing.
And then item 5 brought about a controversy. My aunt said, “no fire engine red.” I said, “Oh crap. I wore red to Karrie’s (cousin) wedding, orange to Jamie’s (cousin) wedding, and red again to Matt and Carrie’s (finlaws) wedding.”
My aunt Chris, having been to two out of three and having seen pictures from the third, said, “All those dresses were fine. It’s a particular shade of bright red that I think belongs in a club, not at a wedding.”
Then I remembered that at Matt and Carrie’s wedding, someone told me that wearing a red dress signifies having slept with the groom. Has anyone else heard of that?2
Anyway, the fact that Chris follows a no-red rule, and I do not, makes me worry that I’m too old-fashioned in sticking to ruling out black dresses for weddings. I just can’t get over the feeling that black dresses are funereal; not fitting with the celebration and joy of weddings.
This is not to say you can’t celebrate in a black dress, look at New Year’s Eve. But you know what else you are doing on New Year’s? Marking the end of another year gone. Singing “Auld Lang Syne,” which is an effing depressing song. Staring into the face of mortality, now that Dick Clark is finally aging. Black fits NYE. It doesn’t fit weddings.
Anyone else in my anti-black boat? Or do I need to hip to the new world order?
1Note I said “we follow.” I am not saying you are a bad person if you’ve violated any of these rules.
2To answer the begged question… MIND YOUR OWN BIZ MARKIE.