I read celebrity gossip. I think of it as a bad habit. Like smoking, only less likely to kill me. But still rude and unsavory and impossible to quit.
I even like reading about fake celebrities, your Kardashians and your Bachelorettes and what have you. In fact, I think I like reading about those people more because they have purposefully offered themselves up for my knowledge of their personal business, unlike other celebrities who suffer these indignities as a side effect of our interest in their great talent and/or beauty.
So you can guess how much I love reading about celebrities weddings.1 I love it as much as I love Diet Coke. And that is a whole lotta love.
But I feel terrible about it. It’s hard enough to plan a wedding that will make you and your guests happy. Imagine having to impress weekly publications of dubious journalistic integrity! Imagine having to impress the Today Show! (Actually, that’s not that hard to imagine, they love everything.) But imagine having to impress Oh No They Didn’t!
It’s particularly bad when the person involved is not intentionally famous. Like, there is a famous person getting married this weekend, you might have heard! But this person is not a celebrity. This person will never appear on a magazine cover letting me know how she lost ten pounds in ten days. What’s actually happening is a consultant and an investment banker are getting married this weekend. And it is none of my business.
But dear lord, yes, I want to know everything. I am sad that Vera apparently won out over Oscar. I was surprised the Obamas were not invited! I am in fact curious if the $250,000 flower budget figure that is being tossed around has any basis in reality.
Anyway, I’m sorry, non-celebrity, for invading your privacy. I wish I weren’t part of the reason that you have to wear that silly hat.2 Have a nice wedding.
1Although relieved it meant the end of The Curse, I was very sad when InStyle Weddings folded, because I couldn’t bring myself to buy wedding magazines before I was engaged, even though OMG I wanted to read the features on B-list celebrities going dress shopping OMG! I was very happy the last issue was still on the shelves after I did get engaged, it was my first wedding-related purchase.
2Unless that is just your sense of style, or you are worried about protection from the sun’s damaging rays. In which case, good for you!