I know. I’ve heard it before: my wedding is not a contest. I will try hard not to think about it that way.
But seriously, WE LOSE. Because some bride and groom, somewhere in Australia, bumped into Lady Gaga at the hotel where they were having their reception. And Lady Gaga took some pictures with them!
And then she paid for a round of drinks! And as she departed, she wished the bride and groom “have good sex!”
So I don’t care if it isn’t a contest, we nevertheless lose. You do too. Every wedding loses, I think, until Ms. Germanotta’s own Monster Nuptials. Because that will be Some Wedding.