I’m more and more excited to be aiming for a Spring 2011 wedding instead of a Fall 2011 wedding. But some of my reasons are completely lame and make me feel like a bad feminist.
- Four fewer months for my hair to turn gray!
- Four fewer months for eczema to conquer more of my skin!
- A shorter period of time I feel obligated to maintain approximately the same weight to avoid becoming a multiple-dress bride!
- Birdcage veils will be so-five-minutes-ago, as opposed to so-four-months-and-five-minutes ago.1
- Less duration of time I justify buying expensive hair conditioners and face creams and splurging on manicures so I can “look my best for the wedding.”
All of this implies I plan to “let myself go” [Warning: "BUH" risk high] after I’m married. And guess what, Dudeocracy, I am. I have recently felt uncomfortable with how much time and money I spend on “beauty,” and tried to take stock and cut back. But then I got engaged, and the crazy-making pressures of being a bride-to-be pretty much sidelined that project.
It isn’t all bad: I am more diligent about washing my face every night and putting sunscreen on every day, which is actually good for me beyond making me look better. If I exercise with the dubious motive of keeping my body the same shape between my dress order and my final fitting, at least I will be getting exercise.
But I do look forward to getting back the time I spend pushing back my cuticles and filing my nails after people stop asking to see my hand and the threat of close-up photographs of my ring has passed. And I look forward to being able to chop off all my hair on a whim, not chickening out after thinking about lost wedding up-do opportunities. I look forward to gaining ten pounds because I ate a lot of yummy pizza and pie and having to buy a new $30 pair of jeans instead of a new $1000 gown.
And yes, I realize the absurdity and Liz Lemonism of looking forward to GETTING MARRIED as a way to escape some of the pressures of the patriarchy. So let me reassert that I am most excited about marrying Collin because I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him, and that ahead of all these factors I approve of moving up the wedding because it is four fewer months I have to wait for him to be my spouse. And let me go read some radical feminist theory as penance and search for some opportunities to be an activist for women instead of just a mouthy lady and don’t hate me because I still want to be beautiful!
1It occurs to me that birdcage veils may already be soooooo played out. Bridal trends are still a mystery to me. I assume they have a significantly different life cycle than regular fashion trends. It is probably best for my sanity if I choose not to care. This issue could be (and probably will be) the subject of its own entire post.