Sometime after we decided to become engaged, I asked Collin to give me a proposal story worth telling. Even though the engagement was pretty much a done deal, I hoped the presentation of the ring could nevertheless have some surprise and showmanship in it. I wanted something interesting to tell people when they reflexively asked, “How did he propose?”
I specifically asked for something “more” than the story, “And then the FedEx guy came to the door, and he opened the package and put the ring on my finger and we got engaged!”
But ultimately, that’s pretty much exactly what happened.
But upon some reflection, that isn’t our proposal story. I’ve felt engaged for months now. If the proposal is “an offer of marriage,” and not just the presentation of an engagement ring, then this proposal has been in the making for maybe a year now. It’s a montage, not one big production number.
As it turns out, that feels great. I have many memories to cherish instead of only one big moment. As a feminist, I feel a bit more comfortable becoming engaged over a series of conversations and mutual decisions, instead of becoming engaged by agreeing to accept a ring.
And if I’m really pressed to tell our proposal story as a charming anecdote, I can probably manage. I was, after all, in the shower when the FedEx guy came to the door.
April 5, 2010 at 10:56 pm
I think it’s romantic to come to a decision to support and love one another, and I’m so glad you wrote this, because it’s not all about the fanfare and “the man” deciding who he wants, it’s a decision between two people. I feel like people always try and one up one another with engagement stories.
You could always tell people that the Fedex guy serenaded the two of you as he presented the package.
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