Collin and I went to a Men’s Warehouse tuxedo shop today to work out what the dudes in our wedding are going to wear. It was a really crummy experience.
First of all, for a store entirely devoted to selling and renting tuxedos, you’d think they’d have more than FIVE options. But they don’t. It’s all cheap black, slightly-less cheap black, white, gray, brown. A brown tuxedo is the most exciting thing you can get. I’d lean on the z key to express my boredom, but the angular look of all those z’s in a row would be too visually exciting for this situation.
Second, the woman helping us was cold and dismissive of my opinions. I said I don’t care if the guys wear ivory or white shirts. She gave me a look like, “Oh, ignorant child” and said, “The shirts match the dress.”
Then she asked what the wedding colors are, and I told her mixed metallics. She made another face. Does she not know that mixed metallics is a wedding trend of wedding trend listworthiness?! I can’t find that list right now, but I am sure I saw it! I’m HIP, Men’s Warehouse Lady! Don’t judge me. ANYWAY. She said, “Then I guess you’ll be putting the groomsmen in black vests.” “Or silver.” I suggested. “No, you’ve got ivory shirts.” Like silver vests on ivory shirts would clash so badly my wedding would need to be called off.
Instead of defending my right to mix cool and warm colors, I said, “Well, I think we want cummerbunds anyway.” This was the wrong approach. Men’s Warehouse Lady really wanted to talk me out of cummerbunds. Don’t I know they are out of style? Don’t I know vests are more attractive? Don’t I know my groomsmen will hate wearing cummerbunds?
I probably should have walked out of the store at this point. But instead I signed up to rent tuxes, with white shirts and black cummerbunds. So I’m going to have a hopelessly old-fashioned, clashing wedding, and send far too much money into the hands of a store that is inept at customer service.
I’m not really putting this one in the “win” column, but at least I can put it in the “done” column.