Wedding, Wedding, Go Away. Come Again Another Day.


For any of you who don’t know anyone who has been in law school, law school finals are a special kind of hell.  For most classes, your grade for the course is determined entirely by your grade on the exam.  For someone about to graduate, this poses the additional challenge of making the most important two weeks of the semester coincide with the time where there are social events left and right.  For someone about to graduate who doesn’t have a job, there is the additional-additional challenge of the overwhelming, soul-crushing sense of WHAT WAS THAT ALL FOR?1

So I have sort of demanded a wedding-planning hiatus.  Even though we’re coming up on the imaginary one-year until our imaginary wedding mark.  And even though we don’t have a venue yet.  But every time I look at a wedding-related spreadsheet, my heart explodes with panic, so it is a necessary irresponsibility.

Meanwhile, Collin still thinks this is all very fun.  So I’ll be sitting on the couch grumpily editing a paper about executive privilege and government officials’ use of private email accounts, and Collin will excitedly shout, “GARDEN COURTYARD!”

I firmly remind him, “No wedding stuff!”

He says, “Oh, sorry, [insert pet-name of the moment.]“  Seconds pass.  “Server solely dedicated to the bridal table!”

“Well, that seems unnecessary.  Wait.  NO WEDDING STUFF.”  I start flipping through my tattered Bluebook to figure out how to cite an email republished on a website.

“Oh, so Pittsburgh has a Grand Hall and a Great Hall. That’s confusing.”

“So is executive privilege.”

“Sorry, my sweet little cutie little law student. I’m just so excited to marry you!”

Isn’t that nice?  I’m so not complaining about Collin’s interest in wedding planning.  But I do feel bad that my anxiety about finals and graduating are vastly outpacing my excitement about getting married and having a wedding.

1Someday I’ll tell the long (embarrassing) version of how I met Collin, but the short version is that his now brother-in-law was in my study group during my 1L year.  So the only immediately apparent point of getting my J.D. was finding a husband.  What a relief for a feminist.


  1. Oh WOW that makes total sense to me!!!!( Even the cutest part about Collin)…..but ONE, BIG, HUGE, GIGANTIC,MAJOR thing at a time, Robin!They are all so very important. The graduation, finals , job and bar exam part is so stressful…each a major milestone that each one needs so much time and energy to accomplish well. The wedding plans should be as wonderful and fun as possible so separating these for now sounds like a good plan. You are way too hard on yourself….no one would EVER attempt to do even two of these things together if they had a choice and you have FIVE major events!!!! There is NOTHING wrong with taking one or two at a time!!!!! your wedding will be the icing on the cake, your cheese in the maccaroni, the cookie dough in your icecream!!!! Relax as much as you can and take time to kiss my Collin!!!

  2. “the only immediately apparent point of getting my J.D. was finding a husband. What a relief for a feminist.”

    I loved law school. I loved law practice before I had kids and a divorce and found Tony. Now I’m just tired a lot. And would rather be looking at wedding stuff.

    Hopefully this will pass.

    • You know, you’re right. Law school has been a good time for me, generally. I enjoyed being a law student. And even though right now I’m so bitter about job uncertainty, I have no idea where I’ll be a few years from now and how having a JD will play into that, and that’s ok! No one really knows where their life is headed.

      • I often wish I had used my JD for something other than the traditional litigation practice. I think it’s the constant sense of combat that has made me tired.

        I have several law school friends who dabble in teaching and grant writing, and a friend who hung out her own shingle as soon as she passed the bar. As far as I can tell, she has had the best time of all of us. I think solo practice may be law’s best kept secret to staying happy and avoiding burn out.

  3. Well, that’s a relief. The part about finding a husband, I mean. Now you don’t actually have to WORRY about your law exams. You don’t NEED a job now that you’ve got a husband! Once you get married you’ll be busy with other things, like cooking dinner and the pitter-patter of little feet! So stop stressing your pretty little head over hard legal stuff and get back to fretting over tablecloth colors, already! Collin will do your thinking FOR you from now on.

    GAH. I can barely even type that out as a joke without involuntarily breaking out in hives.

    Also: Collin sounds sweet.

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