Culture Shock of the Day No. 1


New Feature! On a somewhat-daily basis, I will be presenting something that made my oh-so-American brain go, “Wait, what!?” Sometimes with commentary, sometimes without.

First up, the inside of our freezer door:

I believe this represents some kind of spectrum of how cold various items should be kept, but I’m not sure which end is the colder one. And I’m not sure what a lot of the items are. But on one end you have your casserole dishes and your desserts, and on the other you have your fruits and your dick doodles.


  1. Yes, that is exactly what those are. I would think that’s the warmer side of the spectrum? Because who wants a frozen dick doodle?

  2. My (American) mother-in-law’s chest freezer has that on the inside of its door…if yours is the same as hers, it’s actually representing how many months certain things can be kept frozen before they need to be used or tossed. So, dick doodles will stay good in the freezer for up to a year. Thank goodness!

    (P.S. hi! I’ve been lurking your blog for a while now. I think I found you on APW. I am a fellow Pittsburgher.)

  3. I’m a little angry that my freezer doesn’t have dick doodles in it, now. I had no idea what I’ve been missing.

  4. 1. I’m glad I’m not the only person who saw penises in the diagrams on the right. The gays can be a little preoccupied with those kinds of things.

    2. I wonder if it’s actually a guide to how long you can store things in there, maybe in terms of months, though I would NEVER keep a dick on ice for more than about 20 minutes. WHAT?

  5. Annnd, there’s today’s “laugh until I cry” moment. Thanks!

  6. yeah, it’s for how many months you should keep stuff frozen.

    we have that in British freezers. it’s wonderfully aspirational.

    i would like a dickdoodle on our freezer guide. we don’t have that. i’m aspiring for one of those now.

  7. Other than the dick doodles, I am rather curious why they expect you to keep envelopes in your freezer (i.e. 5-6 shelf)? What kind of crazy ass envelope glue do they have over there? Thank goodness you are already married, or you might have a Seinfeld experience.

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