In the early 1990s, my parents bought my grandparents a touch tone telephone for Christmas. They attached a card reading, “Welcome to the 80s!”
In the early aughts, my siblings and I bought my parents a cordless telephone for Christmas. We attached a card reading, “Welcome to the 90s!”
In the grand tradition of my family’s telecommunication habits, I have always been a late adopter with cell phones. I didn’t get my first of any sort until 2005. And now, in 2011, I’ve finally caved and bought a smart phone.
You’d think I’d have had one since the early days, given a) I compulsively look up the answer to passing curiosities b) my sister has been working on Windows phones since I was in undergrad. But I’ve held off.
For a long time I said, “I’ll get a smart phone as soon as I get a real job.” But then my phone started to die, and I’m not even looking for a real job. And as long as I’m pretending that I’m a Writer with a capital W, shouldn’t I like… have access to potential clients at all times? YES. Right? And also Angry Birds. This is America. So I went and got myself a Samsung Focus with Windows Phone 7 (Bite me, iPhonians, gotta keep it in the family).
But it hasn’t been as easy transition. I feel like the worst possible combination of a child and a senior citizen using this thing. The technology perplexes and terrifies me. I’m an even slower texter than I was before. I accidentally hit the search button about every twenty seconds, and half the time Bing popping up startles me so much I almost drop the phone. And I really don’t want to drop my phone now.
I’m also trying to keep acceptable phone manners now that my phone is ten times as distracting. I’ve been giving Collin shit for two years now for his occasional lapses into “phone douche” behavior, and I don’t want to be a lowly hypocrite who can’t look up from her phone during conversations now. But I can TWEET PHOTOS PROVING HOW AWESOME MY SOCIAL LIFE IS! And play Wordament! And check my email, sort of! And look at a little cartoon to tell me what the weather is in case I’m not near a window!
Will this smart phone be the straw that breaks my baby marriage’s back? Or worse, the straw that brings SkyNet to self-awareness? Or maybe I’ll just tweet a lot more.