Collin was just driving me home from the doctor, who was all, “Yeah, you have ATOMIC eczema… that will be 25 dollars.” Tragically, he had his eyes on the road instead of where I was pointing and mumbling, “Holy… um… holy… UM HOLY POINT POINT POINT.” So you’re just going to have to take my word on this one…
But I swear to god I saw a woman in a bridal gown lying upside down on the steps of the Mellon Institute.
I think she was being photographed. I mean… I didn’t see a photographer. But… why else would that be happening?
She maybe was just some poor bride who finally fell down after trucking through the ceremony, the reception, the after party, the after after party, the post-wedding brunch, the brunch after party, the brunch after after party, the brunch after after after party, a Monday at work where everyone kept asking her why she hadn’t changed since Saturday morning (how rude), happy hour, running back to the office to grab her brief case and a few cruel steps away from the bus stop tripping on the concrete steps and dashing her wifely brains out. But I guess it’s OK because she didn’t die single?
Which brings me back to the photo shoot possibility: assuming there WAS a photographer hiding behind a column or something, why is “dead bride on concrete steps” something that should be the subject of a photograph? Maybe I don’t get art.
Or maybe I hallucinated the whole thing. That’s somehow the least upsetting possibility.
August 3, 2010 at 8:50 am
I am convinced that eczema is dermatologist-speak for a shoulder shirt and “I dunno.”.
August 3, 2010 at 1:05 pm
I get fancy new sub-types of eczema, but probably only because I walk in saying, “Now, I have eczema… but this is new.”
August 3, 2010 at 10:49 am
I have a weird rash right now. I expect that if I go to dermatologist, they are going to tell me eczema. Eff that. I’ve got Benadryl extra strength gel.
And what a weird sight to see. Maybe the WIC murdered her. Poor girl.
August 3, 2010 at 1:06 pm
Check your life for newly added allergens, like a new detergent or fabric or food. Hope it clears up soon.
August 3, 2010 at 11:37 am
ewy. that is my biggest photo pet peeve. The look of death or violence is not equal sexy! stop it, fashion world!
August 3, 2010 at 1:07 pm
Especially with bridal fashion, I find the absence of smiles more distracting than smiles would be.
August 3, 2010 at 12:47 pm
No, see. You don’t understand. The bride, you see, she symbolizes your subverted dreams and desires. The stairs are, like, life. And stuff. You know, your soul. Or a peanut butter sandwich. And your [the bride's] spirit is dashed against the cruel spongey sandwich bread of fate. It’s art, man. Look inside and you’ll know.
August 3, 2010 at 1:08 pm
I just ate the cruel spongey sandwich bread of fate for lunch without realizing its great import!
August 3, 2010 at 1:31 pm
That scares me. Reminds me of this: http://onecatperperson.blogspot.com/2010/04/um-really.html
Makes me wanna sing Toadies.
August 3, 2010 at 2:36 pm
Other pet peeves in wedding photography: she is sitting on the ground, looking adoringly up at him. But at least she’s still ALIVE to be subservient. Maybe the dead bride photo is what happens when she gets sassy and stands up for a photo or two.
Gag.
August 4, 2010 at 5:49 am
i feel like there was a photo shoot like that on america’s next top model. its embarassing to admit i watch that, isn’t it? oops
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