I am also sort of intimidated. I have no Greek vocabulary to explain my relationship with Collin. I have no philosophical tenets to assure me that we’ll have a strong marriage. I’m pretty much running on faith here.
Well, faith as to the love.
I still have an educated guess that Collin and I will have a good marriage, otherwise I probably wouldn’t be engaged. But this guess comes from terribly non-romantic assessments.
Here are some reasons I want to marry Collin:
1. He’s great with money.
2. We are in agreement regarding speculative children. (As in, let’s have some. Let’s have some in five-ish years. Let’s do our best to work lives flexible enough to allow us both to have significant time home with them.)
3. I love his family.
4. He takes really good care of his body.
5. He has good genes.
Can you tell that I am the bad guy in a dystopian sci-fi movie yet? I want to marry Collin to breed a master race of curly-haired spawn who fill their Roth IRAs every year! That has nothing to do with LOVE of any flavor.
I am tarnishing the institution of marriage! Or maybe I upholding the evil patriarchal underpinnings of marriage as an economic arrangement! Either way, I am clearly sinister, and also my marriage is doomed.
I was just about to type something along the lines of, “I’d still marry Collin if all the things above weren’t true” But I think that was a lie. Because some of my love for Collin derives from those practical “reasons” to marry him. Like, I’m so impressed with his responsibility re: money and his health. Both have fueled into my respect for and admiration of Collin, which fueled my love for him. And his amazing family so clearly shaped the person he is, it doesn’t make sense to imagine what my relationship with Collin would be like if he didn’t have a wonderful family.
But I do think I can truthfully say that I would still want to be with Collin if any of the practical reasons were lost. God forbid St. Louis drops into a sinkhole, I still want to be with Collin. If we find out we can’t have kids, I still want to marry Collin.
The economy collapses for real for real and all of Collin’s investments go POOF? I want to eat cabbage soup with Collin.
A shark bites off Collin’s legs and he never trains for another marathon again? I want to buy him rims for his wheelchair as an anniversary present.
Does this mean our marriage is going to work? I have no idea, dudes. But I want to marry Collin anyway.
1That linkage is woefully incomplete. I would be very grateful to those who link to any parts of the ongoing cross-blog conversation I missed in the comments. Thanks!